He is all set to go, but he doesn't really know where he is going! All that he probably knows is “I am going with them”. He has absolutely no fear as it is like any other day for him. But she certainly has a fear some where in the corner of her mind that how he would react without her though the decision was already taken, i.e. to be with him for a week or so till he gets accustomed to the new environment.
The initial couple of days she accompanied him and the days passed without much trouble. But there was a strong resistance from him to stay there without her and mingle with the rest. Multiple attempts to encourage him had already failed. So had to make a new strategy.
Poor little Abhinav at 2.5 yrs of age hardly had any clue about this trap. The deal was for next couple of days I go with Abhinav without Mukta, stay there for about an hour and leave to office. She would join him little late once I leave. Abhinav was never exposed till date to stay without his mom and I could think this as one of the strategies to reduce his attachment with his mom. Even when I accompanied him in this play home, he was never willing to go with any one else. He always wanted to stay with me despite of my many attempts to convince him to play with other kids. My attempts to stay away only resulted in putting him in to tears which was really painful for me.
The next couple days passed like this. But even this strategy was not working well as Abhinav was not developing any attitude to engage himself with others and I was not in a position to go to office late every day! He used to continuously cry and was not even eating any thing during the snacks break. Worse, he used to pee almost regularly and some times vomit also. His painful crying face, gesturing he can't stay without me every time I had to leave him was literally killing me. The Strategy again had to be altered, but nothing profound we could think. The teachers said this is normal and you don’t have to be baby sitting next week onwards and they will take care. That certainly gave us some confidence.
The next week since I was occupied with some work, Mukta had to drop him and pick him back later in the afternoon. As Mukta narrates, the moment Abhinav sensed that she is leaving him he was uncontrollable and started crying vigorously. He was sobbing inconsolably. He was screaming “AMMA” (Mummy) helplessly and it was as if some one poking her intestine fiercely. She was determined not to think emotionally and had made up her mind. If not now at least in future he has to attend school. He had to learn to live without parents at least for few hours in a day! With this thinking she left the place to go back home.
Mind was disturbed a bit and was roaming aimlessly. But the subconscious mind was making an attempt to think that she forgot something while returning from the school. For a moment she thought whether it is mobile phone or purse. No they weren't. She kept on recalling what she had carried while taking Abhinav to the school only to realize when she reached home that “mother had left her soul” in the school. Throughout on her way she felt her hand was empty. The hand which always used to hold her son's hand every day while visiting a nearby park on the same road was not holding anything. Since the day he was born she had always accompanied him.
When I returned from office that day she could at least share her feelings with me. But the little baby could not express his emotions in any way. All that he said when asked if he cried in the school was "yes, he did". He was too young to give any reasons for it. All that he could say was "Summane" (i.e. cried just like that). It was difficult for me even to imagine putting myself in his position :-(
Many a times we as parents create an environment where our kids develop an attitude to depend on us for every small thing and all of a sudden we expect them to stay away from us at such an early age. Seems inhuman (or I don't know how to put it across). I think the urban system is making all this happening. I can not think of any other acceptable alternative either!
